Sports Sammich 1.0
OK, back to the lighter side of things for a bit.
I thought about calling this post Sports Sammich 2012 because of how seldom I expect to write sports-themed posts, but with material like this out there, I can’t guarantee anything. So here’s a Sports Sammich for you, and we’ll see if you’re still hungry after.
This first bit is about equal pay, which is a thing for me, and I think it ought to be a thing for everybody else, too. Unless you’ve been listening to Fox News with headphones on for the past several years, you probably know that on average, women in the U.S. make about seventy-five cents for every dollar men earn doing the same work. For a long time we didn’t really talk about that, because you know, we’d made so much progress and it’s not polite to look a gift horse in the mouth or whatever. Laurie Anderson did, though:
You know, for every dollar a man makes
a woman makes 63 cents.
Now, fifty years ago that was 62 cents.
So, with that kind of luck, it’ll be the year 3,888
before we make a buck.
So, anyway, when I saw the headline, “France’s Gilles Simon says men should be paid more than women at tennis’ Grand Slam tournaments” I had to look. Here are the key phrases:
Simon [who is on the ATP Player Council] told reporters at Wimbledon in French that he thinks “men’s tennis is ahead of women’s tennis” and “men spend twice as long on court as women do at Grand Slams.”
He also said men “provide a more attractive show” in their matches.
And here’s a photo of Monsieur Simon providing “a more attractive show.”
I know, but come on, really? Talk about doing more work, sure, if that’s the case, but what kind of a guy… Wait, I’m getting an update…
One female player asked about Simon’s comments, 19-year-old American Sloane Stephens, said: “I don’t care what he says about anything. He hit me with a ball the first time I was a ballkid. He hit me in the chest, because he lost a point and lost the set. He turned around and slammed the ball with his racket and hit me … and I’ve never spoken to him since then.”
Yeah. That’s about what I thought.
Also in tennis, women in the WTA will be prohibited from excessive grunting on the courts according to a WTA spokesman. An article by the Washington Post was curiously edited before I could link it here to exclude a phrase stating that men are not subject to any similar rules. Either this is part of some vast conspiracy to ensure that only men are allowed to grunt, or the copyeditor realized that the WTA doesn’t regulate men’s tennis. (As far as I can tell, W is for “womens.”) It’s also possible I read the line in this Fox News article which still states that men are not subject to the new rules yet. (According to the article, the WTA is pushing for a “sport-wide plan.”) Fear not, Tony Manfred at Business Insider assures us that this is not sexist. Women’s and men’s grunt’s are not created equally according to Manfred, but regardless of gender, “the ritualized, tactical grunting that exists in the game right now needs to go.” (Is he right? Or is grunting important to performance? I don’t know. Chime in if you think you do.)
USA Today reported the plan includes developing a device for umpires to measure grunting during matches, and a rule to set limits on how much noise is acceptable.
Yes! What’s called for here is a specialized grunt-detection device! A grunt-o-meter! I mean because measuring sound is a new science, right? It’s not like there’d be…say…an app for that.
Next up is the linkbait headline from the inimitable New York Post: New poll shows women would like to cheat on spouse with Tebow
I’m going to say it again: Really? Ok, I get it: different strokes for different folks. But I’m pretty sure I don’t know any women who would answer that poll “Tim Tebow.” Curious, I clicked. You’ll be as fascinated as I was, I’m sure, to learn that Tebow was actually #2 on the list behind David Beckham. A-Rod and Derek Jeter also made the cut. What kind of poll was this? Who were these women signing up to break their wedding vows with athletes? Then I went back and found the punchline:
According to a new survey released by AshleyMadison.com, the Jets backup quarterback ranked second on a list of athletes women would most likely cheat on their husband with.
I somehow missed out on the “phenomenon” that is AshleyMadison, “the most recognized name in infidelity.” Yeppers, it’s a dating site for people who are married but want to cheat on their spouses. So, among women who are married and want to cheat on their spouses, nearly half want to cheat with David Beckham, but not a few wouldn’t mind being unfaithful to their husbands with a guy who has vowed to wait for marriage before having sex. To that I can only say, “Um…”
Oh, also? Tiger Woods came in last. <sad trombone>