A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

Girl Cheese Sammich

“It will be mine. Oh, yes! It will be mine…”

As we say goodbye to National Grilled Cheese Sandwich month and hello to National Sammich Month, I want to take the opportunity to tell you briefly about my personal relationship with grilled cheese sandwiches. You see, when I was a tiny, little girl…so tiny that the world was still a place of only beauty and wonder and no Bad Things, I believed that grilled cheese sandwiches were a special invention made just for ME.

Back in those days of yore, my dad (before he was a professional bass fisherman or a preacher or even a dad) was a pool shark. In Los Angeles, California, where he made his living in the pool halls as a young man, he was known as “Sixth Street Jerry.” In Long Beach, where he also played from time to time (and where he met my mom–in a pool hall), they called him “L.A. Jerry.” One of my earliest memories is going to the pool hall with my parents, where my dad would shoot pool (which I remember only vaguely) and my mom and I would sit in a booth with red seats and I would order a Girl Cheese Sandwich with fries (because that was the point of the whole expedition as far as I was concerned).

Of course, I had no idea why the waitress and all the adults made such a fuss over the whole thing. I just wanted my sandwich. And my French fries! But I imagine them now doing that thing grownups do where we know the kid’s about to do that cute thing they do, and they say, “Watch! Listen! Okay, Rosie, what do you want to eat?”

“GIRL CHEESE!” I’d holler, and they’d all “aww” and titter and pat me on the head.

And yes, I assumed that if my dad wanted a sandwich like mine, he’d have to ask for a Boy Cheese Sandwich, but he never did that I recall. Sixth Street Jerry was too busy bringing home the pork rinds, baby.

These days grilled cheese sammiches are still a favorite, and one of my comfort foods (along with mac & cheese), and I still occasionally refer to them as feminine without ever checking under their bread to find out whether I’m right. That probably makes me a sammich sexist, for which I’m deeply sorry, and will surely pay in the afterlife. Till then, Girl Cheese Sammiches for all my friends!

National Sammich Month starts TOMORROW! What’s your favorite sandwich?

This makes up for everything! Right?

PS: I apologize for that terrifying image above. I really wanted to use an appetizing photo of a nice, melty grilled cheese to make your mouth water, but then I found ^that^, and come on, how could I resist? It would have been wrong–possibly immoral or even illegal–for me to not use that image in this article. So, to make up for it, here’s a photo of me just before I learned to say “Girl cheese sammich, please!” Love ya!

79 responses

  1. Pingback: Make Me a Sammich « Live, Laugh, Love

  2. Love. The story. The creepy pic. And the cute one, too. Also, girl cheese sammiches are a fave.

    August 14, 2012 at 4:33 am

  3. hannahandtheuniverse

    Great story! Reminds me of my days creating sing-a-longs with my twin brother as we “flew” our fudgicles around like airplanes. Childhood=awesome.

    August 5, 2012 at 11:31 am

  4. I love a grilled cheese sandwich, made the proper American way! All my UK buddies just can’t get it right :( My second favourite sandwich is bacon, brie and mango chutney. You just gotta try it!!!

    August 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

  5. Great article! My fave is tuna or cheese:)

    August 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm

  6. AWWW, girl cheese :) and yeah, that child looks like she’s planning to eat the red-fingernailed woman’s hand, not the sandwich. why settle for sammich, when you can have braiiiiinnnnnssssss…

    August 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm

  7. Loved check under the bread

    August 3, 2012 at 5:16 pm

  8. It’s so funny how kids can butcher the name of such a simple sandwich. I could never remember which part came first, so I always went with a “cheese grill samwich.” I like your version better! Great post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    August 3, 2012 at 5:08 pm

  9. I’m with you… grilled cheese is the best! Also, I love your writing style. Keep up the good work!

    http://stepstochangetheworld.wordpress.com/

    August 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

  10. Can I get a side of tomato soup! Great post.

    August 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

  11. Wonderful, fun and so true. Girl Cheese Sammich. Love it! Congrats on FP. Well done!

    August 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm

  12. I would have been along side the waitresses saying “awww!” That is pretty cute.

    August 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm

  13. Great post, hilarious! Congrats on being freshly pressed!

    August 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm

  14. That was the funniest and I LOVED! LOVED! LOVED! the pictures! Thank you for a great read!

    August 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm

  15. Cute read. Growing up, my sister also thought they were girl cheeses, and so the joke lives on. I make boy cheeses for myself. =)

    August 3, 2012 at 12:40 pm

  16. Too cute!

    August 3, 2012 at 12:32 pm

  17. Grilled cheese is nice but my favourite sandwich indulgences include (1) peanut butter & honey; (2) banana – sometimes with honey too; and (3) something we call a “Chip Butty” – 2 slices of bread, plenty of butter and either hot potato chips or potato crisps (preferably cheese & onion flavour). All extremely terrible for your health but OH so yummy. :)

    August 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm

  18. Just how CUTE is your blog’s name…
    Amazing read!!

    August 3, 2012 at 10:38 am

  19. Reblogged this on shitisokay.

    August 3, 2012 at 10:15 am

  20. warning: loving cheese sandwiches may indicate your child is possessed by the devil.

    August 3, 2012 at 9:26 am

  21. To this day, my grilled cheese sandwiches must be on thick, white bread with American cheese, and grilled to a nice golden color in butter. It’s midnight here, I have a sore throat, but now all I can think of eating is a yummo girl cheese sammich. I’ll likely never call them the right thing again. Thank you.

    August 3, 2012 at 6:03 am

  22. My six year old calls them girl cheese too! She once asked why boys can’t have them :) Grilled cheese is the best thing ever. Now I’m hungry…

    August 3, 2012 at 5:41 am

  23. WairimuM

    the only think that kept me sane in kindergarten was the grilled cheese sandwich waiting for me at tea break. It was literally the only thing I thought about all morning!

    August 3, 2012 at 4:39 am

  24. Funny Post! I love grilled cheese! I could probably eat it 24/7!

    August 3, 2012 at 4:31 am

  25. Besides your dad’s awesome pool shark names, that creepy girl is my favourite part of this post. She looks like she wants to tear off the hand with her teeth and eat that instead of the girl cheese sammich. I hope you still call it that when you order it in restaurants. What a great childhood story.

    August 3, 2012 at 4:25 am

  26. My daughters favorite snack is a “knuckle sandwich”. She thinks that’s the real name for ice cream sandwiches. This story reminded me of how much I love her mispronunciations.

    August 3, 2012 at 4:12 am

  27. Oh my! You were adorable. And this story is priceless. Love your dad’s nicknames.
    I’m not sure what my favorite sammich is….does a crabcake count? I can’t help it. Yes, I’m a snob from Maryland.

    August 3, 2012 at 3:37 am

  28. tarrtarr

    hehe this is amazing

    August 3, 2012 at 3:07 am

  29. Great post and I’m happy to see someone else use the correct spelling for sammich. My personal favourite sammich is the white meat turkey club (especially the homemade variety). I moved a decade ago to a different province where they make them with an extra ingredient, cheese! While cheese is fine and well in a girled cheese sammich, but it has no place in a turkey club, so I only eat them at home now.

    Cheese! Oops, I mean “Cheers!”

    August 3, 2012 at 3:06 am

  30. Haha, I thought the picture was great! What a fun post. I’ve gotta have a grilled cheese now, though.

    August 3, 2012 at 2:37 am

  31. Haha! Funny post!
    Fave sandwich: smoked meat sandwiches with mustard are pretty tasty! :)

    August 3, 2012 at 2:21 am

  32. Grilled cheese is one of life’s greatest comforts… whether a simple classic made at home with the flu or a gourmet food truck version with artisan bread, cheese and other fillings.
    Your story makes me think of going to department store cafes in the 60s with my aunt as a child, sitting on the spinning stools at the counter and listening to the clatter of heavy plates under bright lights. I bet those french fries you had were crinkle cut!

    August 3, 2012 at 1:59 am

  33. LOL! Great post! I guess the “girl cheese sammich” equivalent for me was “can I have a shrimp pease?” Which of course was, can I have a sip please, or “shrimp pease” for short. Apparently I never wanted my own drink, I just wanted to try everyone else’s.

    August 3, 2012 at 1:18 am

  34. Grilled cheese with goat cheese and muenster is the best, especially with a side of tomato basil soup. yummm!

    August 3, 2012 at 12:07 am

  35. Awesome. The first meal I learned to make on my own was a cheese sandwich. I was four and my dad would send me to the kitchen with specific instructions on how to make the sandwich. Open the fridge, push a chair over to it and get the cheese and mayonnaise . . . you get the idea. The cheese sandwich is classic Americana. SG

    August 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

  36. Ha that photo is terrifying but I kind of love it. I love grilled cheese sandwiches as well, especially on sour dough bread. Yum. Nice post.

    August 2, 2012 at 9:43 pm

  37. My parents often recall the story of me asking my dad if he was ordering a boy cheese sandwich. I appreciate the fact that someone else also views them in the feminine light.

    August 2, 2012 at 9:42 pm

  38. Reblogged this on TIJOWS.

    August 2, 2012 at 9:13 pm

  39. Great post! I love reading memoirs that have a food twist. Even if it’s something as humble as a girl cheese sammich. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Do you have a preference of cheese for your sammiches? No two cheeses are the same? Or is it a cheese is cheese as long as it’s in my sammich?

    August 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm

  40. Dang! You used to be cute!!

    Congrats on the FP ;)

    August 2, 2012 at 8:57 pm

  41. I see a slight resemblance to the star of the original Bad Seed (I’m referring of course to the retro pic) but it’s a great choice. And now I know what I want for dinner, thanks!

    August 2, 2012 at 8:54 pm

  42. mdprincing

    nothing oozes lovin like a grilled cheese, my little girl still asks for them when she needs something special but only from me her dear old daddy

    August 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm

  43. Great post. You are right the girl in the picture, she is terrifying. I wouldn’t refuse to make her a girl cheese sammich.

    August 2, 2012 at 8:31 pm

  44. Val

    Is that first caption a Wayne’s World reference? If not, nevermind, great post!

    August 2, 2012 at 8:12 pm

  45. Haha! Funny post. I love grilled cheese sandwiches too! Yum. I think I might have one for dinner tonight. =]

    August 2, 2012 at 8:07 pm

  46. I [heart] grilled cheese sandwiches, too!

    August 2, 2012 at 8:03 pm

  47. We were going to have mexican tonight but I’m thinking grilled cheese is on the menu :) Congrats on the FP!

    August 2, 2012 at 7:46 pm

  48. My fondest memories of childhood road trips are french toast breakfasts and grilled cheese lunches!

    August 2, 2012 at 7:44 pm

  49. Grilled cheeses are the best! I tried one with ranch awhile back and it was pretty darn good. That photo is cute too! That’s how kids look when they want something…he he! :)

    August 2, 2012 at 7:43 pm

  50. Seb

    There is no part of this story I do not love.

    August 2, 2012 at 7:42 pm

  51. Grilled Cheese is one of the best things ever! My hubby was a little irritated with me when I ordered one at a steak house a while back… oops!

    August 2, 2012 at 7:39 pm

  52. like how you assigned grill cheese a gender (and knew not to peek under the bread) :o)

    August 2, 2012 at 7:37 pm

  53. I too enjoy (and blog about) grilled cheese

    August 2, 2012 at 7:33 pm

  54. Pingback: National Sandwich Month | Sandwiches for my Man

  55. Nothing beats a grilled cheese. It was my favorite meal growing up….and is still to this date!

    August 2, 2012 at 7:23 pm

  56. Fun article. :) Thanks for posting, and my favorite sammich is a Club sammich! :)

    August 2, 2012 at 7:15 pm

  57. I will be calling grilled cheese sammiches ‘girl cheese’ from now on. Thank you!

    The official state sandwich of Texas: Brisket on a plain white bun, with onions, pickles and BBQ sauce. Hello yummy.

    August 2, 2012 at 7:14 pm

  58. I laughed hard at the PS section. Brilliant come back :D
    Bravo! Bravo!

    Katie
    MontrealDSL
    Raspberry

    August 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

  59. Yum, girl cheese and tomato soup! In our house I have to make both a girl and boy cheese sanner. When my son who was about 3 at the time heard me saying I was making grilled cheese for lunch he started crying. The source of his tears was him not wanting a “girl cheese” he wanted a “boy cheese”

    August 2, 2012 at 7:01 pm

  60. Now I’m hungry :) Awesome post!

    August 2, 2012 at 6:52 pm

  61. Yum! I love grilled cheese…especially dipped in ketchup. Is that a bad thing?

    August 2, 2012 at 6:51 pm

  62. Welcome, all you wonderful new folks! My Internet is down so I’m keeping up via my neighbor’s iPad. These things really weren’t made for typing, were they? I’ll be back soon to reply to your comments. Thanks for reading! <3

    August 2, 2012 at 6:47 pm

  63. I have to admit that I can’t stand them. In fact, I can only eat them if they also contain peanut butter, which most people think is really gross. But they taste just like those nasty little orange cheese flavored crackers smeared with peanut butter. I love your post, congrats on the FP, and by the way, do you have any idea what the state sandwich of Nebraska happens to be? I bet its some type of beef, made on cornbread. I’ll have to find out now. Anyhoo, now following–thanks for the chuckle!

    August 2, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    • Duh, I just checked. Its a Runza. Ever heard of one of those?

      August 2, 2012 at 6:43 pm

  64. L

    It was a hard thing to say as a kid!

    August 2, 2012 at 6:40 pm

  65. I had to click to find out what the scary little corn child was doing!

    August 2, 2012 at 6:29 pm

  66. Ha! I love this; “…and I still occasionally refer to them as feminine without ever checking under their bread to find out whether I’m right.” I read a John Irving book, A Widow for One Year, where the young girl character only wanted to eat grilled cheese sandwiches and fries with ketchup. Ever since then, I have had a perpetual craving that somehow feels justified because a character in a book had it, too.

    August 2, 2012 at 6:21 pm

  67. Thanks to you being FP, now there are thousands of WordPress users who will be going home and having grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner tonight. I may or may not be one of them. I haven’t deci–oh, the hell with it. I’m having a damn GCS tonight for dinner.

    August 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm

  68. I love this story. Simply awesome. Of course, I’m assuming girl cheese sandwiches have no nuts, right? After all, that’s how I always figure out whether a brownie is a boy or a girl…presence or absence of nuts… ;)

    August 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm

  69. I’m hungry. ;)

    No really, I friggin’ want a girl cheese sammich now.

    August 1, 2012 at 5:06 am

  70. LWJackn

    Grilled cheese with bacon (or bacon bits during tough times)… Sinfully delicious…

    August 1, 2012 at 2:08 am

    • Mmmm…fakin’ bacon for me, but yum. And drool.

      August 1, 2012 at 2:22 am

  71. Fran Stewart

    I LOVE the idea of girl cheese. :) I’m always amazed by how much I LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches when I have them now. They taste like the best part of childhood.

    July 31, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    • Yes! They ARE the best part of childhood! Melty, delicious childhood! :)

      July 31, 2012 at 8:37 pm

  72. This list of “notable sandwiches” will help you get started on National Sandwich month. As a vegetarian, I won’t be sampling a large number of these, but they do serve to demonstrate the richness of the world of the sandwich.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sandwiches

    July 31, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    • Excellent! I understand that every state has a sandwich, as well. Mmm…

      July 31, 2012 at 11:05 pm

      • Really? There are official state sandwiches? This bears investigation.

        August 1, 2012 at 1:33 am

  73. tlf

    Terrifying? Bah! That is the perfect retro-radilicious photo. Enjoyed this post a lot. I finally convinced my 16 year old that grilled cheese is a good thing.

    July 31, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    • Wow, the thought that someone needed convincing just boggles my mind. Keep fighting the good fight, tlf. ;)

      July 31, 2012 at 8:28 pm

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