A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

Back to the Future

back to the futureWe interrupt this story-in-progress to bring you an update from the future. Ok, now that you’re here, it’s the present. Welcome back!

I ran out of words a few days ago. Words about my current life, that is. I started a new freelance gig, and all my words are currently going there. It’s a welcome distraction from reality and gives me a sense of forward motion. It restores some of my confidence. It reminds me that I’m ok on my own.

B and I are on speaking–even friendly–terms following a series of talks. I unloaded a lot of anger on him in person –which I very much needed to do–when he came to move his stuff. Then we talked as friends and cried together a bit. (I did most of the crying–B never has been able to really let loose in that department, and I think he needs to learn how. I told him that the other day.) That was two weeks to the day after he left, and it was a very, very hard day. We’ve talked twice since then and kept in touch via email and text.

I had my first therapy appointment today. It was good. I wish I could have gone sooner, but my crisis happened right when everyone else was having theirs, and vacations and all that. Going back weekly. Also have an appointment with B and a couples counselor Tuesday. I don’t know what to hope for at this point.

Now and then it hits me all over again, but in between I have found some peace. I am getting stronger every day.

Never fear–I’ll get back to publishing regular stuff on a more regular basis just as soon as possible. Right now it’s all I can do to juggle one ball at a time.



10 responses

  1. The Professor

    An echo to that “Be careful”! Don’t get sucked into his pitiful excuses and lies. Take care of yourself first. Much as you still love him and want to help him, you need to help yourself first and foremost.

    January 16, 2013 at 7:05 am

  2. Hugs lady!!

    January 13, 2013 at 10:58 pm

  3. Much love to you!

    January 12, 2013 at 12:10 am

  4. I’m glad for the peace. I hope ultimately you get all the peace and happiness you deserve.

    January 11, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    • Thank you.

      January 11, 2013 at 8:45 pm

  5. riley0003

    I am so glad that things are moving towards healing. I have been frequently thinking of what you’re going though. I went through something similar about 12 years ago and it was so hard to pull myself out of the resulting depression, but therapy and anti-depressants helped quite a bit. And time helped the most. Good luck; you have a lot of virtual support out there!

    January 11, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    • Thanks so much. The support has been amazing. I appreciate it more than I can say.

      January 11, 2013 at 8:45 pm

  6. I’m sure closer friends than I, a mere anonymous poster somewhere in the world, will offer better advice than ‘Be Careful’, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. Thus, I shall say it! “Be Careful.”

    January 11, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    • Thanks. I’m trying. :)

      January 11, 2013 at 8:44 pm

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