A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

“Train Your Heart Like a Dog.”

Writer Jonathan Carroll posted this on Facebook yesterday. I think it’s beautiful, and it hit close enough to home that it felt almost written for me.


Photo: Lucienne Bloch

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier mache puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses.
you make him call before
he visits. you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.

~Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell by Marty McConnell


Note: I originally attributed this to Frida Kahlo based on the original post (apparently this poem is quite popular on tumblr and this is a common mistake). I also left out the line breaks (which I have now inserted). Apologies to Ms. McConnell. Read more of her poetry here.

7 responses

  1. Jessica

    Beautiful. But just a correction — although the name of the poem is “A letter from Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell,” she never wrote it. This is a poem by Marty McConnell.

    July 11, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    • Thanks so much for the correction! I’ll fix the post when my computer is working again.

      July 30, 2013 at 2:59 pm

  2. Pingback: Liebster, Dearest, Liebster « Deliberate Donkey

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  4. The Professor

    Speaking of Frida Kahlo…have you gone to the “Elle” show at the Seattle Art Museum? Of course in an exhibition of works by women, there is a piece of hers there (although that one small painting isn’t perhaps the best representation of her explorations of womanhood and identity). The SAM website says: “Through diverse media, these installations and exhibitions offer a glimpse of the startling innovations attained and a reminder that these achievements were often hard fought for in a cultural landscape that was not always welcoming to women.”

    January 16, 2013 at 6:56 am

  5. Hilary

    Thanks so much for posting this, especially at a time when many of us have thought of Frida Kahlo, especially at a time when so many of us have pondered loss, our own and that of the thousands of women and girls who never fouhgt back, much less had the luxury of being gone.

    January 14, 2013 at 12:53 pm

  6. Pingback: “You loved a man…and here you stand.” « Broken: picking up the pieces

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