A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

Bree’s Story

Guest post by Bree

Painting by Georges de La Tour

Painting by Georges de La Tour

When I used to imagine what rape would be, I’d think of a masked man taking you into a back alley and beating you senseless to get what he wanted. As scary as that is by itself, it was scarier for me to realize that rape could come from someone you already knew…perhaps even someone you were dating already. That’s what it was in my case.

I started dating a boy when I was 13. It’s not shocking to say that at that age a boy would already be pushing for sex, and certainly not shocking to say that at that age I didn’t want to. At first It was mostly pressure, him touching, me pushing away and saying no, after a small fight it was stop and later resume again thus causing a bigger fight. But things kept getting progressively worse, he became more aggressive, the fights getting worse after I said no, him being more physical, then it started actually happening. After all the “no’s”…it no longer became worth the effort to fight anymore. This happened for years, getting worse progressively. It began happening in front of his friends, they would watch, not saying anything, then practically high five him afterwards.

I wouldn’t admit it to myself back then. I didn’t tell anyone about it or talk about it at all. He told me I was obligated to do those things because I was his girlfriend, and that’s what girlfriends do, whether we want to or not. It wasn’t until years later when I met someone who tried (and did) eventually save me from this that I was able to admit the dreaded “r” word and realize what it was that really happened to me. I still live with PTSD, I live with the flashbacks and mental scars while I am sure he is somewhere playing his xbox right now with a smile on his face. When I finally left he told his friends I “cheated” so no one would believe my story of the abuse from the boy on the pedestal.

After I started healing I got back into my writing poetry, and then I went on to spoken word. Anything to talk about my story and get it out of my system. I worry about the other girls out there who are in my situation…dating their rapist, and thinking its justified and not rape because they are dating…it’s not true ladies, the sooner you realize that, the sooner you bloom as well.

It gets better–you just have to fight for it.

1-800-656-HOPE


Bree is a poet/spoken-word artist. Visit her website for more of her work.

If you need a safe place to share your story, please visit my Facebook page and contact me via the Message button. ~Rosie


Updates:

Here’s a short film by Jodi Martinez featuring Bree and her story:


Related:

On MMAS:

A Brief History (the Bad Parts version)
I Am Jane Doe
Letter from Another Jane Doe

From the blogosphere:

She Was Asking For It
Respectful discussion is welcome and encouraged. When in doubt, see the Comment Policy.

11 responses

  1. Reblogged this on un savoury things and commented:
    A powerful piece.

    March 31, 2013 at 12:05 am

  2. This is a short yet powerful piece of writing. Thank you for sharing your story.

    March 31, 2013 at 12:04 am

    • Thank you! <3

      March 31, 2013 at 2:39 pm

  3. You are a very brave woman even at that age! Rape is horrible. saddly we’ve been gradually desensitized to it by movies and other public media. Some communites don’t even view it as wrong such as the recent 17 & 18 year old’s recent rape of a drunk 16 year old girl. Everyone was busy jumping on the girl in order to protect the football students chances to stay in sports. In fact the boys involved didn’t even consider it wrong. They knew it was wrong to drink and drive but could care less about the drunken girl on their hands.
    I know this situation is different than yours, but insesitivity to rape seems to be a common thread in our world.
    That boyfriend was not a man, niether in age or action, but rather very selfish. Rape is an action done of selfish motives. He wants what he wants regardless of the other’s feelings.
    If he were a real man (and any REAL man would) choose to put you before himself in regards to his own actions towards you. He would not move to take something that’s not his to take and would try his hardest to avoid it. A right relationship is not centered on selfish, self-centered motives we see pushed around so much today (and even then for you at the time of your horrid experience). Relationships SHOULD be about helping the other person(s) involved. How can my relationship with this person better the both of us? If it doesn’t then it’s not worth participating in.
    Saddly, this boy was out for himself and I’m sorry for what he has put you through. You are a beautiful woman and through this I know you can help mend others who are hurting from similar situtations and even find healing for yourself as well.
    Don’t be discouraged but keep pushing through. Keep speaking the truth and being a voice in the midle of this very dark place. Don’t believe the lies that this situattion has made you less valuable or even tranished. Yes, it hurts, but in the end there IS healing for you and you will become a more beautiful woman because of it.

    Love,
    TheFaithbook

    March 29, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    • Thank you so very much for the kind words <3 I'm very happy to say I found someone who got me out of that situation whom I have been with since and it's been wonderful. It's still horrific to hear about the Steubenville case, I've actually written a couple pieces on that one as well (which Im reading tonight actually). I truly appreciate your heartfelt words it really means a lot <3 Sadly that 'boy' is totally fine and living his life, and no one knows what he's done. The best I can do is continue to write about people like him and bring these situations to light. Thank you for your support!

      March 29, 2013 at 2:12 pm

  4. IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS?? That is awful and disgusting, what kind of a man was this?!

    March 27, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    • not a very good one lol I left out the worse parts lol

      March 27, 2013 at 5:53 pm

  5. Jonas

    The link to Bree’s website doesn’t work…

    March 26, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    • Dammit. Fixed now. Thank you!

      March 26, 2013 at 12:23 pm

  6. Naylay March

    Reblogged this on Musing and commented:
    Such a brave and incredible story. And SO relevant.

    March 26, 2013 at 10:41 am

    • thank you very much <3

      March 27, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Chime in:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s