A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

The Belle Jar Blog is a Great Feminist, Mother, Writer, Friend

Anne, Matt, and baby Theo

Today my friend Anne is on the receiving end of all sorts of criticism for the post I shared with you yesterday in which she bravely considered a future when her son might cross a line despite her best efforts. You see, Anne realizes that even though her little boy is two years old now and loves his mother more than anything, one day he will experience–as we all do–a need to go his own way and take his cues from sources that do not love him with all their hearts and want him to be and have the absolute best.

I have known Anne less than a year, but in that time (in addition to getting to know her personally and coming to call her a friend) I have read many of her posts on The Belle Jar and have been at turns moved to tears, anger, nostalgia, a strong sense of simpatico, and fits of giggles. Her ability to bring herself–her personal stories–to her constant struggle to contribute to the greater good means that her work (on TBJ and elsewhere) reaches more and more people every day. And that means that in addition to the thousands of people who need her stories and words–either because they weren’t quite awake and she splashed their faces or because, like me, they’re out here fighting the same fight and desperately need the solidarity and ideas and perspectives and common vocabulary to do what we do–there are those who will tear her down.

Some of these people just don’t get it. Others are on a crusade to expose the evils of feminism. As for the former, I can only hope that some seed has been planted and germinates even now in the depths of their brains. But the latter? Allow me to submit that they are the true measure of the impact Anne is making. I don’t envy her the negative attention, the stress, the bad feels that I know even now are making it hard for her to do the important work she’s doing. But I, for one, want to say that I’m counting on Anne to take what strength she can from all of us who love her, love what she does, love her stories and her strength and her courage, and remember that what all of this means is that she’s doing something right.

And I’ve known that all along. <3


Respectful discussion is welcome and encouraged. When in doubt, see the Comment Policy.

14 responses

  1. Britni

    Reblogged this on Fiending for Hope.

    April 17, 2013 at 6:36 am

  2. I’m an avid reader of The Belle Jar blog as well as this one and I read the article in which she was slammed. The writer of that post has no idea what he’s talking about and luckily there are plenty of internet folks willing to call him out on it. I loved her post, I love all her posts and your posts and what you guys are doing is so important. Thank you for continuing to write and inform and inspire and change attitudes — even in the face of such blatant ignorance.

    In short, you rock.

    April 15, 2013 at 2:38 am

  3. It’s hard to recognize and face up to the reality around us. A strong part of this insiduous misogyny is also the denial of the woman as powerful. I have a nine-year old son and we live in the Delhi region. We had a few discussions following the rape incident here in December. I saw it as an opportunity to talk about vital issues that remain unspoken. At least we broke ice, at least he knows he can now talk to me about things he does not understand…..I’m scared for him, for me, too…..

    April 14, 2013 at 9:16 pm

  4. I am happy when people share advocacy for changing things for the better. Thank you for posting and reposting things to add to the solution!
    <3

    April 14, 2013 at 8:42 am

    • It’s a global village! I’ll be over here by the well…

      April 14, 2013 at 8:45 am

      • Scratch that. I’ll be in the tavern. Drinking. (Get it? I’ll be drinking alcohol. Getting drunk. Because of reasons. Internet reasons.)

        April 14, 2013 at 9:44 am

  5. Anne’s an amazing person and I’m privileged to know her. She’s inspired me to be a better feminist.

    April 14, 2013 at 8:35 am

  6. Anne’s compassion and point of view are often rare, and therefore should be highly valued. She is blessed with the ability to put her thoughts into eloquent words. We need to support and value this gift. Anne, please do not stop sharing.

    I did not see the hurtful negatives specifically but know the type you are talking about. The additional wisdom and thoughtfulness that Anne offers is likely wasted on this type. imo.

    April 14, 2013 at 8:30 am

    • Yeah, we all do our best to ignore them, but they do grate, don’t they? And the cumulative stress can be debilitating.

      April 14, 2013 at 8:46 am

      • Yes. And I reserve a special category in my logic center for people who are illogical, obnoxious, and a few other tags on your post: “Idiots on Parade.” Not nice of me but I’m a sarcastic and blunt. And today, grumpy.

        April 14, 2013 at 9:05 am

  7. I love you a LOT! And a huge sincere thanks to all the love, help and encouragement you’ve given me over the course of this year. You and I are gonna do BIG THINGS together, I can just feel it!

    April 14, 2013 at 8:22 am

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