A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

Contests

Fabulous Prizes!

AWESOME, right?

Ok, first I have to show you these AWESOME new cards I just got (made by MOO). I know, crappy pic, but aren’t they AWESOME? And that’s only the front! Each one is personally autographed by me in Red SharpieTM! The reverse has…well, I’ll show you in a minute. These were a perk from Klout–a site some folks like to pooh-pooh, but dude, they send me free stuff all the time, and that makes them ok in my book.

I’ve also ordered TEMPORARY TATTOOS. I’m not going to show them to you because all I have is the artwork, and they’re not proper tattoos until I can put them on my skin*. When they arrive and I can, then you’ll get a pic. Promise.

I know, I know, you’re wondering how you can get your hands on some of this Make Me a Sammich swag. Well, firstly, winners of our Sammich Challenge will receive some as part of their Fabulous Prize packs. One lucky winner will also receive this:

And it will not be Brother #3.

It will not contain a sammich, because ew, prepackaged sammiches are gross. I think I must have suffered some pre-made sammich trauma as a child, because I simply cannot stand a sammich that’s been sitting around with its juices soaking into the bread and making it all soggy and smelly. I have been known to throw adorable little tantrums when people who love me forget this fact and bring me a nasty, mayonnaise**-soaked refrigerator sammich for lunch. In fact, I gag a little when I see someone in a movie buy one from a machine and eat it. Yuck! Do you have any idea how long that sammich has been sitting there being gross? A sammich machine should assemble your sammich right in front of you, dammit, or it’s nothing more than a garbage dispenser in my eyes.

Ahem. Moving on… If you don’t win a prize in our first contest, there will be others. But in the meantime, if you just can’t stand it, I will make it easy for you to request MMAS goodies. Stay tuned.

Scan that code! Do it!

Oh yeah! Here is the back of the new card. It has a little Klout logo (because they were free from Klout, but my next batch won’t have this, so these are Limited Edition! Woo!) and a very fancy QR code which makes them practically electronic. (It always cracks me up when I see promo cards made to look like iPhones that say “download our app” and then include a URL and no QR code. Duh, I say!) They’re also super heavy-duty cardstock with a satiny finish and the color is great. I heart them.

I’ve got some other goodies in the works, but hopefully this illustrates my good faith in the Fabulous Prizes department. It turns out gift-giving is one of my “love languages” according to a book my dad gave me, so I get really excited about giving stuff away. My neurosis is your gain!

Love ya!


*The great thing about temporary tats is that you can apply them to other surfaces, as well, meaning I can use them to make other cool stuff. There will be swag!

**Double ew. (W?)


I Suck at Contests!

Woohoo!

Woohoo! I totally suck at contests! That’s right, you heard it here first.

Ok, so it’s the last day of National Sammich Month (I apparently also suck at blogging because I did not cover nearly all the sammich stuff!) and the first Sammich Challenge deadline had passed. We have a number of very fine entries. I’ve even been collecting Fabulous Prizes for the winners! But I was only able to recruit one sammich judge, and who knew that Brother #3 would submit a sammich recipe so diabolical that the very thought of attempting it paralyzed me with fear? He did, that’s who. The fix was in from the start. But don’t you worry, my little sammich chefs, Rosie has your back. There can be only one Most Diabolical Sammich, to be sure, and B#3 has provided the winning recipe for that category. I’ll deal with him later. As for the rest of you, your recipes will undergo rigorous judging over the next day or two (by judges who owe me one thing or another and can’t say no) and I’ll announce winners in additional categories Real Soon.

And I’m really excited about the Fabulous Prizes. :D


Sammich Challenge!

Sammich of the Gods?

19 days into National Sammich Month and, well, I’ve been lax. However, my brother #3 (I have seven!) has proposed a sammich challenge, secure in the belief that he will win. This is your chance, my friends, to truly participate in this national holiday month the way you’ve always dreamed of.

I will be forming a panel of judges (omnivorous ones!) who love to eat sammiches. Your job is to submit the Winning Sammich Recipe! The judges will recreate your sammich from your recipe and eat it, grading on the criteria below. Winners will receive Fabulous Prizes (to be announced)!

 
 

Sammiches will be judged on the following criteria:

  • Overall Deliciousness
  • Creativity
  • Health vs. Decadence (pick one and go all the way!)
  • ??? (Is this a mystery criterion? Or just one I haven’t thought of yet? It’s anyone’s guess!)

Are you ready? Deadline to submit your sammich recipe is one week from today: August 26. That will give our judges a solid week to make/eat your sammiches before NSM ends. We’ll announced the winners on Friday, August 31!

Let the sammiching commence!